Top 10 Best The Simpsons Quotes

D'oh! - Homer Simpson

Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog

Actually, replace 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly' and replace 'dog' with 'son.' - Lionel Hutz

Me fail English? That's unpossible! - Ralph Wiggum

I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaming. - Homer Simpson

Just once, I'd like someone to call me 'Sir' without adding 'You're making a scene.' - Homer Simpson

Well, I'm better than dirt

Well, most kinds of dirt. I mean, not that fancy store-bought dirt. That stuff's loaded with nutrients. I... I can't compete with that stuff. - Moe Szyslak

Ow, look at me, Marge, I'm making people happy! I'm the magical man from Happy

Ow, look at me, Marge, I'm making people happy! I'm the magical man from Happy Land, who lives in a gumdrop house on Lolly Pop Lane!... By the way, I was being sarcastic... - Homer Simpson

Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers! - Ralph Wiggum

I used to be with it, but then they changed what 'it' was

Now what I'm with isn't 'it', and what's 'it' seems scary and weird. It'll happen to you. - Abe Simpson

Hello, my name is Mr. Burns, I believe you have a letter for me. [P.O. Worker

Ok Mr. Burns, what's your first name?] I don't know... - Homer Simpson

Bonjour, you cheese-eating surrender monkeys! - Groundskeeper Willie

You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel. - Homer Simpson, when on the phone

They call them fingers, but I've never seen them fing... Oh, there they go. - Otto the Bus Driver

That's where I saw the leprechaun... He told me to burn things. - Ralph Wiggum

I don't hate your mother, Marge. I just wouldn't be sad if she died. - Homer Simpson

I bent my Wookiee. - Ralph Wiggum

To alcohol! The cause of - and the solution to - all life's problems! - Homer Simpson

Hello. I'm Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounters is true. And

Hello. I'm Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by 'true', I mean 'false'. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is: No.

Look! I'm a unitard! - Ralph Wiggum, dressed as a unicorn

This is my sandbox, I'm not allowed to go in the deep end. - Ralph Wiggum

I sleep in a race car bed, do you? - Kirk Van Houten

I am the lizard queen! - Lisa Simpson

I choo-choo-choose you. - Ralph Wiggum

How come things that happen to stupid people keep happening to me? - Homer Simpson

English, who needs that? I'm never going to England. - Homer Simpson

My eyes! The goggles do nothing! - Rainier Wolfcastle

We are just slowly dying. - Homer Simpson

Ha-ha! - Nelson

Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such films as... - Troy McClure

Eat my shorts! - Bart Simpson

Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent

14% of people know that. - Homer Simpson

Back in Edinburgh, we had a coal miners' strike

All we wanted were hats with a wee light on top. Then one day the mine collapsed. No one made it out alive, not even Willie! - Groundskeeper Willie

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman. - Homer Simpson

If you don't like your job, you don't strike

You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way. - Homer Simpson

Brothers and sisters are natural enemies, like Englishmen and Scots, Welshmen

Brothers and sisters are natural enemies, like Englishmen and Scots, Welshmen and Scots, or Japanese and Scots, or Scots and Scots. Damn Scots, they ruined Scotland! - Groundskeeper Willie