"Want to see a magic trick?" [Sure] "Poof you're single."
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Play breakup songs non-stop while you are with them
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Propose to her and when she opens up the ring box there is just a trollface inside
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Say you're going to the restroom, then run.
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Pretend you're the lost twin sibling and they sent you to break up
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"Bye bitch!"
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"Hey, that's my ex's house!" [Wait...THAT'S MY HOUSE!]
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Say you have to leave Earth to fight an alien invasion
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Tell them you are taking them on a trip to Africa
Go to the airport, drop them off, say "I'm just going to the bathroom" and drive off. Wait for them to board the plane and then text them saying "It's a one way ticket. And there's only one."
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Ignore all calls for weeks, then say to them "I was asleep"
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"Roses are red, violets are blue, garbage is dumped and so are you"
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Pretend you're gay
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Slap them in the face and run
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Walk by a pool and push them in then run and scream, "I don't think we should
Walk by a pool and push them in then run and scream, "I don't think we should see each other!" Then look at their body like you want them back.
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Answer their call by saying "Hello? Oh, hey [name that isn't theirs], I think we should break up"
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"Our relationship is like a fat guy" [What!?] "It's not working out"
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Talk about another person the whole time you're with them
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Commit a crime and go to prison for a while
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Through a text
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"I got my vision back and I think we should break up"
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Go on her computer, write a letter on MS paint, wait for her to come back, and
Go on her computer, write a letter on MS paint, wait for her to come back, and then leave whilst she reads it.
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Act really happy when you break up with them. Leave them thinking "WTH?"
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Play Single Ladies in public and put your hands up
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Say you're in love with a celebrity and you're going to find them
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Accuse them of double dipping
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"You have my heart. I want it back."
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Draw a image on MS paint of them being murdered, leave it on their screen, and
Draw a image on MS paint of them being murdered, leave it on their screen, and then wait for the reaction
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"It's not me it's you"
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Sing "say something, I'm breaking up with you"
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"Roses are red, violets are blue your face looks like it belongs in a zoo
Don't you worry I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you... because we're over"
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"Hey. Ya know, you really remind me of the person I'm about to break up with"
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"Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers, and the middle ones for you"
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"You should count the stars. Oh, wait, that's pointless. Like our relationship. Bye"
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"I'm in love with my dog, I think she's prettier than you."
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Text her love messages but with a different name at the end of each message
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