Actually, we have two, but they are so hideous we don't let them out of the basement.
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We plan to, but don't know how. Can you help?
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[Spouse's name] is already a raging alcoholic so we don't need another person
[Spouse's name] is already a raging alcoholic so we don't need another person in the house babbling incoherently, soiling themselves, and crying for no reason.
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My in-laws have red heads in their family tree and I couldn't bear the shame of
My in-laws have red heads in their family tree and I couldn't bear the shame of having a ginger child.
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We would, but cannot bear the possibility that they could turn out to be Special Snowflakes.
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I took the batteries out of my biological clock and put them in my vibrator.
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After the fourth miscarriage, we just couldn't take any more heartbreak.
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My wife is totally addicted to the taste of the raspberry morning after pills.
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We tried, but we conceived doggy style and ended up with a puppy.
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I'd like to, but I'm not just not sure [spouse's name] is the right one.
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Children? We ate them.
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Well, I recently went to the doctor and they found out that I'm... deathly allergic to children.
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Kids? As in baby goats?
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We're both overachievers so we're pretty sure the baby would have too many chromosomes.
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Because they could turn out to be a furry, brony, radical feminist, etc
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We want to, but it seems like every year they come out with a better model and
We want to, but it seems like every year they come out with a better model and we don't want to get stuck with something obsolete.
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Did you know that 100% of rapists and series killers were once babies? It would
Did you know that 100% of rapists and series killers were once babies? It would be irresponsible for us to risk it.
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We don't want our lives any more torturous than they are now.
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It hurts
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We will when you start making it look even remotely appealing.
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But, we're still not sick of getting eight hours of sleep and having all this disposable income.
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We would, but we promised our first born to an evil witch, and we'd rather not
We would, but we promised our first born to an evil witch, and we'd rather not go through with all that.
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I hate children.
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Never. I hate kids.
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A dog and a cat are enough for us right now.
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I'm an introvert
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The world is already overpopulated.
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Should be soon, we recently found out we were using the wrong hole.
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We thought about it but then came to the realization that our social lives were
We thought about it but then came to the realization that our social lives were going to disappear and that we were going to turn into our parents and thought,"nah".
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We do, they're just invisible.
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We've had four, but with my IQ and her cheekbones, the price those little
We've had four, but with my IQ and her cheekbones, the price those little buggers fetch on the black market is too good to pass up.
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The condom never came off after the first try.
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I left them at Walmart.
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It's none of your buisness
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We don't know how to do it.
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