Top Ten Things the British Might Be Doing On U.S. Independence Day

1Contemplating the greater freedoms that Britain has than America

2Living life normally and not caring that they lost a colony

3Telling Scotland to keep dreaming

4Parading their way across the Atlantic in 18th Century Dress, ready for an attack

5Celebrating the fact that they don't get blamed for things the same way

6Thinking back to three days ago, when Canada Day slipped past them

7Acknowledging that Independence Day is proof that Americans do, in fact, acknowledge the existence of a country other than their own

8Colouring everything that's British red, white, and blue to see if the Americans can tell the difference

9Flying into America just to see whether they get chased by parading nationalists

10Eating themselves fat

11Celebrating by playing the British national anthem at full volume

12Drinking salty tea

13Celebrating the anniversary of getting rid of their least profitable colony

14Silently chuckling to themselves

15Laughing at their stupidity

16Brushing up on their German-language skills

17Discovering the difference between Girl Guides and Girl Scouts

18Not being bothered by not really knowing what Americans do besides fireworks

19Not thinking about American holidays

20Changing the name of the language to Americanish

21Making a list of things the British might be doing on U.S. Independence Day

22Learning the history of America

23Learning that a lot of American English is Anglo Saxon dead English in Britain

24Learning that "mom" came from the midlands

25Learning that there is no difference between math and maths