Top Ten Things the British Might Be Doing On U.S. Independence Day

Contemplating the greater freedoms that Britain has than America

Living life normally and not caring that they lost a colony

Telling Scotland to keep dreaming

Parading their way across the Atlantic in 18th Century Dress, ready for an attack

Celebrating the fact that they don't get blamed for things the same way

Thinking back to three days ago, when Canada Day slipped past them

Acknowledging that Independence Day is proof that Americans do, in fact,

Acknowledging that Independence Day is proof that Americans do, in fact, acknowledge the existence of a country other than their own

Colouring everything that's British red, white, and blue to see if the

Colouring everything that's British red, white, and blue to see if the Americans can tell the difference

Flying into America just to see whether they get chased by parading nationalists

Eating themselves fat

Celebrating by playing the British national anthem at full volume

Drinking salty tea

Celebrating the anniversary of getting rid of their least profitable colony

Silently chuckling to themselves

Laughing at their stupidity

Brushing up on their German-language skills

Discovering the difference between Girl Guides and Girl Scouts

Not being bothered by not really knowing what Americans do besides fireworks

Not thinking about American holidays

Changing the name of the language to Americanish

Making a list of things the British might be doing on U.S. Independence Day

Learning the history of America

Learning that a lot of American English is Anglo Saxon dead English in Britain

Learning that "mom" came from the midlands

Learning that there is no difference between math and maths