Top 10 Best Chuck Norris Facts

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land.

If Chuck Norris falls into a river, he doesn't get wet. The river gets Chuck Norrised.

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now just The Islands.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. It's a shame he's never cried.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris converted God to atheism.

Behind Chuck Norris' beard, there is no chin, there is only another fist.

There is no Ctrl button on Chuck Norris' keyboard. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals that Chuck Norris allows to live.

If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google, it doesn't ask what you meant

It simply comes back as RUN.

Chuck Norris got stabbed by a knife. After two weeks of pain, the knife died.

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.

When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he doesn't push himself up. He pushes the world down.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris clogs the toilet every time he pisses.

Chuck Norris invented the spoon. Killing with a knife was too easy.

Chuck Norris died ten years ago. The Grim Reaper just can't build up the courage to tell him.

Toronto made a replica of Chuck Norris's penis

They just used his initials and called it the CN Tower.

Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret.

Chuck Norris can speak braille.

Chuck Norris doesn't tea bag girls. He potato sacks them.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars. That's why there are no signs of life there.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

Chuck Norris invented black

In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Chuck Norris gave birth to himself.

God said "Let there be light," Chuck Norris said "Say please."

The first giraffe was created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story

Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

Chuck Norris and Mr

T once walked into a bar together. The bar immediately exploded, for that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.